"It's a really old city...stuck between the dead and the living."
"You said, remember that life is not meant to be wasted."
Sometimes I feel stuck between the dead and the living. My creative soul all dried up.
That song by Sara Bareilles always moves me for some reason.
"my earth is somebody's ceiling"
I am made alive, today, for a purpose?
Today with it's strange uncertainty?
We don't get a do-over with how we choose to live.
You'd think I would be able to be more daring knowing this, but instead I often pull back.
You'd think I'd be a hope-seeker all the times, but there are plenty of moments my world shrinks and I can only see what lies right in front of me.
You'd think I'd choose the loving stance even if it wasn't easy or didn't go well for me.
I come up short, though.
I'm glad life isn't a paint-by-number drawing, because by my count, I'm way off on number 25 of 31 so far.
I choose to count what I have and recognize what I am doing here, rather than play a numbers game.
It doesn't mean I don't need to keep going. I just told a friend tonight that my writing feels 'stale' right now, but that's a perfect time for a challenge, isn't it?
And by perfect, I mean, remember this, a lovely reminder by Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird:
"Your day's work might turn out to have been a mess. So what?..
"Messes are the artist's true friend. What people (inadvertently, I'm sure) forgot to
mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here -- and by extension, what we're supposed to be writing."
linking for five minute friday and 31 (minus several) days.