I'm not going to tell you that I lost the wallet in between the two urgent cares, in the middle of the confusion and headache. See, you shouldn't have asked, I'm not up for explaining all that right now.
Did I tell you that God sent someone to retrieve my wallet, which was intact, despite being run over? Through the tire marks I saw his handprint on the whole thing and I share about it because I think it's important to tell stories about life and how God's grace is all over.
I often tell you the crazy stories that happen to me. Be assured that I have some normal days. A few. And there's probably something to learn on those days. But just not as much.
I'm constantly reminded that things don't make sense in this life, that even God's ways don't always make sense, and I'm trying to be okay with that. These events help me understand -- slowly -- more about us all being broken and that everyday we run over each other and it leaves marks but we still remain intact, somehow, by God's grace.
Still, there's not a sweet message in every moment to moment thing. In fact, there's often tears.
I cried at the second urgent care which was a long story and thanks for not asking about it.
I cried with a girl I've known for awhile whose father is fighting for his life, and there were no right words, but at least I tried.
I cried a few short tears, a mixture of joy and pain, mostly joy but with the still-felt pain when my friend stopped by to bring me food when I was feeling so sick.
This was all in a week.
I don't cry all that much on the norm, but overtime, I've come to take notice of my tears, to what awakens my soul on a deep level, either by pain or joy. God does use both. But it doesn't mean the immediate isn't uncomfortable or hard.
Sometimes there's pain in the now and I know God will bring good, but what I need is not to jump right there. What I need then is to remember God with me. Christ brings good, but I don't have to reason myself there in the midst of it.
For when you feel a little wrung out and in need of hope:
What does pain teach you? What do you wish it didn't teach you?
Come back later in the week for risk rejection to see if there's any risking going on -- unless I find a way around it. :)