Dear younger me,
Apparently it's a fun pastime for me to write to you. See here and here in case you forgot.
I even wrote one I didn't send you. Probably the most important one. That figures, right? It was about your body. What I would have told it. Because right now you probably think it's not working right. It's broken. You're broken.
Bet you're dying to hear how it all turns out, huh?
Can't tell you. Sorry.
Promise you don't have to hate me.
You're tough and you can take it. But, because you are 'tough' and you can take stuff so well, you worry people. You have a sensitive exterior at times but you are strong inside. Too strong for your own good right now. My advice to you: let yourself slide a little.
I know you're afraid of the losses.
But overtime, it's the losses, not the wins that form in you who you are and the tiny spaces you start to see through the dark that gives way to light. Run toward the light.
Even years later, I wouldn't change the story you're living. Wouldn't try and replace painful moments with something else instead. But I'm not sure there's a pretty box to stuff it all in and that's okay.
Not everything you go through in the moment is good, but God does something -- and is doing something -- so much better for it. Redemption comes through way of a redeemed, changed path.
I hate the vicious cycle of pain you live in all the time. When you're older, there are times you try and pretend it didn't matter, but it did.
I can't hide the fact that I want you to find comfort, relief. But, I also want you to know truth. Not just what helps you temporarily.
I want you to find the healing balm for your soul, not just your body.
Don't give up. It's near.