The word comfort keeps showing up everywhere this week.
When I'm in pain, I have usually wanted to take one of a couple of stances. I want it to be over and/ or I want comfort. Or I ponder it and ponder it and I try to figure it out.
The latter often demands attention to the matter at hand, ie: that headache, that hurt. Which is hard at the time. We want answers when what we really need is healing.
Healing used to be a bad word in my vocabulary. Why? God heals after all. He has paid the ultimate price and truth tells me by HIS wounds we are healed (Isaiah 53:5).
I must look at truth again.
Because of Him, I am healed from who I used to be. Free. Alive in Christ.
I have journals upon journals with what could be like letters to God from the times (some years) I was in constant pain all the time. Many of these were just simple prayers. 'Help me, God.' Most of them asked for relief from the enormoty of the chronic-ness of it. 'Lord, please help these headaches to go down...bring an end to this. Let it be over.'
I hated how pain was such a focus of my life. It begs to keep you living in urgent; I understand this now even more fully when I work with people who are dealing with the urgent.
Paul asked for God to remove a thorn in his flesh and he pleaded with God to remove it, but instead He reminded him of grace: "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12: 9)
Healing does not always come by way we think it will.
Jesus speaks to suffering and pain and is not unfamiliar with it nor does he dismiss it.
I believe in asking for healing. I believe Jesus meets us there. But, eventually, my prayers started to change after pages and pages of asking for healing, it was then Christ Himself, just the comfort of Jesus, just grace for today and tomorrow and the next day and the next and the next that I needed. Christ was the healing, the comfort.
I'm not going to wrap it up in a neat little bow, for all of you who are hurting and in pain or who have to go to the doctor twice a week or who fear for the life of someone you love. Pain is real and you can't manufacture those prayers that plead with God when you are in that place.
The good news is we have a God who loves us beyond belief!
I don't think it's bad that my heart naturally learned to cry out "Help me Jesus!" for of course He is there, He is our refuge and shield, but I believe that everywhere, in everything can be found, "thank you, Jesus.."
6/11/09 journal: beside my thoughts, ramblings, prayers for what I thought was healing.
"Lord, you continue to do a good work in me! It's good to look back and see how you have provided. You have answered many prayers."
May this be the truth I live inside of. May this be where you live. I pray for awake-ness. To see everywhere how God has answered, how He is still working, in unexpected ways, in bringing healing and comfort out of pain, or loss, or mess, LIFE out of death. And, if that's hard, I get it. I pray you will know you are seen right where you are. We don't walk alone. Linking up with Lisa-Jo and others to share our love of words with Five Minute Friday.