I only wish I could find the letter I wrote to my body some years back. By now it's mixed in with the rest of my writings and journals, but it's there somewhere. I know what it said because thinking about a love letter like that helps me remember that it was anything but. I basically wanted to know why my body didn't work right. Why things were so hard.
I was honest to a fault and I had nothing to lose. There's something you often gain from that if you've ever been in that position for any reason.
So, in my old letter, I told my body, for all intensive purposes, "I just don't like you." I tried to come up with some nice things to say, but I didn't care enough to try to skirt around it, I didn't care enough to try and pretend I felt better than I did. I didn't care to try and help my body feel better then, really feel better, because I thought it had let me down.
There's always more to the story. And not just the part about where I was harder on my body than it deserved. I'm talking about how my body didn't really let me down at all.
It might sound like it, but this isn't just a tale of 'happily-ever-after,' it's about how my second letter would tell my body how God redeemed it, along with everything else, and that it matters.
It matters to think well of the body God has given.
It matters to receive His love and from that to show kindness and love to the places and people God does, and that includes you. Sure, it's easy to swing too far to one side of the pendulum. But I am reminded that as we give kindness and love and grace to one and other, may we also give it to ourselves.
I'm speaking to the old scowler in me, too, about this friends, if this is hard for you.
I could easily find the beauty and delight in others - but it was so hard to take on what Christ said about me. But I now know, not only do I not have to live out of my flesh, but I am much more than flesh and bone. Strangely, this was freeing for me to accept the body He gave me and to take to heart that I'm made with a purpose. Who He made me to be is what He intended.
If I were to think about writing a new, love letter today it would be a letter of thanksgiving that God has given me a body that allows me to run (if ever I would choose to :) ), to dance, to sleep, to eat, and truly to live with a freedom that I can only find in Him. It doesn't mean there's perfection, it doesn't mean I live without pain sometimes, it doesn't mean life is without struggles. It doesn't mean I shouldn't be reminded about my true self- that the outward self is fading away but I am being renewed all the time!
It does mean I can praise Him- God is good. He has done a work in me, body and spirit. I am thankful for the journey.
"all around hope is springing up from this old ground. out of chaos life is being found in You."