Thursday, July 26, 2012

Don't Give Up. { Favorite Series }

There was a time when I felt utterly behind at life.

It wasn't a 'let-me-move-faster, I-need-to-pick-up-the-pace' because I have to be somewhere or get something done kind of trying to catch up, but one of those nagging feelings that I wasn't where I once was, I was moving slower. My normal routines and way of life had shifted a bit over the years to try and compensate for pain and health issues and for a very long time that didn't feel okay. In fact, at it's worst, it felt completely wrong. I didn't want to be behind in what I thought I should doing, at the speed I thought I should be doing it. Finishing school. My work 'life.'

I felt weak. Like I wasn't living up to some kind of potential. It's not a bright place to be in discontentment. I was trying to work out my own plans instead of letting God show me that He can work them out.

It's easier to say the verses we know and learn than to actually have to live those beliefs.

There was a time when I felt utterly behind at life. And I had to come to terms with what Romans 8:28 says, actually says. That God works everything for good. We have been called according to a purpose and a plan.

When I was faced seeing that His plans for me must be good, things began to move forward.

I have to remind myself of living by His purposes and plans sometimes, when instead I feel behind because of things like having to be somewhere or my schedules looking different than what He may have for me.
As I am talking about favorite books this week, the book Closer Than Your Skin always makes me think of this idea.  Susan D. Hill (whose father lives in the same building as my grandma!) talks about sensing inklings of God and her journey of realizing how personal he was and the real ways she could experience Him. She shares of the rawness of knowing God and His enduring love. I still remember what it was like when I was reading her book in the midst of feeling like, 'What do I have to show for myself at this point? and not knowing what the future would hold.' I can remember her speaking about her journey of God building her up again and how He used the following verses in Jeremiah. Somehow, as I myself was led to go back to Jeremiah, God used it as part of restoring my hope and the journey back to joy.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
I will build you up again,
and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt.
Again you will take up your timbrels
and go out to dance with the joyful."
-Jeremiah 31:3-4

Song to go along with this = one of my favorite songs of all time.

"Song of Hope" by Robbie Seay Band

I think I would love this song regardless but I remember being able to sing this song during worship at church many years ago and how intensely it resonated with me. From then on, it has stuck with me. Singing it alongside beloved friends who were voices of hope and beacons of light in my life demonstrating God's love symbolized the message of Not Giving Up.

"God of heaven come down, heaven come down
Just to know that You are near is enough"

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