"God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down."
-C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
Sometimes I feel like I play games with myself, and also, maybe I play games with God. In life, I want to know the meaning of things. I like understanding, am fond of tucking clarity into my pocket, and maybe even most of all, enjoy it when I can become better friends with certainty.
Life's not always like that. There are those days. Then there are those seasons, too. You feel like maybe they aren't a good match for God, or rather, maybe your faith isn't.
Somehow, in these moments for me, I get a picture of the idea that whatever raw materials were knocked down, broken down, maybe were needed in order to build back up something totally different.
Something a game or a house of cards can't hold.
Something sturdier is needed. Something only God in His might and His stature can hold. Something that can't be shaken through the rough tides, even though they will surely come.
74. I'm thankful for the waves, even when when they aren't always calm. They teach me about staying the course.
75. I'm thankful for friends who are in different seasons of life, friends who continue to remain and are blessings to me. Friends you can walk in the rain with and it feels like sunny weather. Friends you can hang with for a marathon day and it goes by like a short sprint.
76. I'm thankful for things to do and God showing me it's not about me. I'm thankful for learning about so many different kinds of people and recognizing that beneath it all we're all human and unique and loved by our Creator.
77. I'm thankful for so many different talents and gifts and ways that we help each other and for ways that others help me and if I'm lucky I can help others along the way.
78. I'm thankful that even though a good many miles have already been driven today, for getting to hit the tennis ball around a little tonight..
79. I'm thankful that even though it was one of those days I serve a good God who still holds it all together and gives me the strength and energy to always keep looking ahead.
80. I'm thankful for rest and mercies that come new in the morning.
81. I'm thankful a song that's long been in my heart but it's good to hear it again, "I Shall Believe" . . .
82. I'm thankful that You hold the key.
83. Counting these gifts is s l o w l y starting to come a little more 'naturally' to me.