"I can only assume that there's only one thing more frustrating than
not being able to find someone, and that's not being found. I would
want someone to find me, more than anything."
-- Cecelia Ahern, A Place Called Here
When I was little, I had a special place (don't most of us as children?) that probably only I considered special. It was special I think because I could be hidden there, outside, and yet seemingly removed from the rest of the world. Just a hop away from there was a big, often empty parking lot, but it didn't matter because my special place stayed in the background and was surrounded by greenery and an archway and it had mirrors on the sides (but I knew how to sit so no one could see me looking in). To me it was like a small castle where you could read or think or get away if you needed to.
As far as I can remember, I never really "ran away" as a kid. Having pretty vivid memories and having an imagination, I sense the awfulness it would be for a parent to think his or her child went missing or ran off. Especially after doing some of the work I do now.
I don't think I ever was actually gone long enough for anyone to worry about me, because I typically would wander about and run around outside, and when I was little kids could play around without parents worrying too much.
Still, even with a couple "pretend" run aways, I remember that I felt this urge for someone to find me. I wanted someone to come looking for me. Even if I was mad or discouraged, part of me wanted to be found out, and for sure I wanted to be found. Isn't it weird that when we actually do want to be found, we might run away, or make ourselves scarce?
Don't get me wrong. My secret place was a fun place of solitude; I would go there to read or write or just to sit and think. It was pretty there. But when push came to shove, it was a spot I felt I could go and maybe no one would find me...or maybe they would, if they were looking.
It doesn't have to be that way with God. He goes with us wherever we go. Psalm 23:6 and Psalm 139 are encouraging to me.
"Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
If I make my bed in the depths, you are there" Psalm 139: 7-8
*God, I praise you as I see that you are here with me wherever I go. Thank you for being the Good Shepherd who found this wandering sheep and calls her by name.